Between you and me, there are a hundred miles, countless strings of words and unquantifiable emotions that sway in an out of being every second we interact.
I don’t need to hide. Not from your eyes, or behind my words. Everyone else stopped looking in this space a long time ago. After really long, has someone stopped by to look for me. And you’ve looked in places that I had safely tucked away from scrutiny. Because, I don’t need to hide. You see what isn’t shown, you’ve seen what should be known. And thank you, because you spare us a lot of tedious hours of background stories when we could use them to create new ones.
New ones- that start at your eyes and end at my smile. Ones that redefine contact as something felt before numbers and physical touches. Something that is felt for existing in the million sub atomic particles that traverse the distance between us- most untouched by us, yet carrying specks of our emotions across the miles between us.
There’s magic in the way you talk, the way you weave existence out of nothingness. Reading your work is like sitting in front of screen to watch a story, only to find it tapping your shoulder from behind, catching you by surprise.
Reading you is like turning to see that the one that tapped your shoulder is in fact what you’ve been living with all your life. As a piece of your being, or a prose for your wish. But somewhere, up front or deep down, you’ve known it all along.
You seep into my heart through windows I never knew existed and you make your home in the crevices that can’t be done away with; they will be here forever. Will you?
If my life now was gonna be all about shuffling, in and out of the weaves of your words, I might as well absorb the flow. If I could, I’d kiss you and drink your poetry straight from your lips, until you could look into my eyes to find the poem that had somehow always eluded you. I’d kiss you so that when you write again, your words would be laced by a faint memory of me, the only one of me that would be more than words for you.
And when I write again, I’d embroider a blessed survival on the canvas of life because before you, succumbing was easier done. My work would speak of the distance between two ends of an infinite road, the bridge between proximity and time zones and how we managed to exist in both forms, all at once.
Truly, we were magic.
We were magic until I dissolved into the universe, taking pieces of you with me.
The miles lost meaning, the strings of words splintered into a million pieces. With no receiver or send point, contact was lost before we could embellish it into a definition.
Now you fish out words from lakes where you believe you’d find my sign.
While here I am, watching you from every spot in the atmosphere, without you realising that I made your words known to the entire universe.
Now you’d hate me for taking your life away from you, but I’m selfishly pleased that now I have you with me wherever I go.
I don’t know if you’d keep me alive in your words, or if you’d want to keep me alive in your memories. But here we are, with no definition and meaning, existing off each other, only because there is no better way or any way really, to make it through when everything around us is turning bleak and gray.
Now, I’m all for monochrome but I’d rather have one in the colour of your eyes. Because the depth of it would take so many beautiful twists and turns and leave me in an unnamed street built inside the fortress of your heart, designed for people to get lost in. Your warning mechanism keeps most away, but I dived anyway.
It is a wonderful world here and there is so much to unravel. Sometimes I miss me. But then I get lost again. Lost looking for a way through the labyrinth in your heart when the destination was walking in me all this while.
I had to find myself to find you.
And when I did, everything fell into place.
– 29/7/19
Soul For Eternity 